I wanted to develop a daily meditation practice since I went to a silent meditation retreat about 6 years ago. There I witnessed first hand the power of awareness and the effect it had on my life. Sitting down and meditating meant tuning in and checking in with myself. I started to become acutely aware of thoughts and feelings that I was either ignoring or avoiding, and I began to also practice letting them go. After 4 days of meditating pretty much all day, I felt lighter and more connected to myself. I was not connected to the self that was the voice of the constant commentary in my head, but instead to my soul self that had answers to questions that I had forgotten to ask. It was a life changing experience for me and after feeling such a strong connection to my soul, I knew meditation was a practice that I needed to do everyday.
As I said, I tried and failed many many times. Meditation can be tedious and uncomfortable both physically and emotionally. After awhile I started to notice that I would get into a habit of mediating on a regular basis and then I would stop. After many times of repeating this pattern, I realized that I would start to really see who and where I was in my life and I wouldn't want to do it anymore. I had intuitions about ways that I needed to change my life, or I would feel emotions that I didn't want to feel. As a result, I would put my practice on the back burner again. Things got too real, and I wasn't completely ready to look that deeply at myself or my life. This cycle continued for many years until one day, out of the blue, I decided to listen to my soul and just do it.
That day was December 31, 2014! Here I am 200 days later. I have never felt more connected to myself, and I know that meditation has a lot to do with that. Here's what I have discovered on my mediation journey so far:
-how to cultivate a deep connection to my soul
-how to disconnect from my thoughts
-I have the power to not believe the bullshit that I tell myself regularly
-how to truly be with my feelings and let them go, rather than hang on to them
-doing something consistently is better than perfection
-real change and results come with repetition
Thank you so much for reading! If you meditate a little or a lot, leave a comment as I would love to talk about it with you!